A Pinch Of Sugar
by This Is Sarcasm
Summary: Petaurus Breviceps. Flying members of the possum family, marsupials. Commonly known as Sugar Gliders. For some reason, this particular Huntress carries her pet around with her wherever she goes... and for some reason, Asher Mir has been selected as today's brief and unlucky pet sitter.


There were few things in this universe that could bewilder Asher Mir. And whatever it may be that would, he would doubtlessly find it, solve it's riddles, and proceed to gloat ostensibly and appropriately. But of the many sights he'd seen over the years... a Huntress carrying around a small marsupial in her hood was not one of them.

"Okay, so we're doing this." she suddenly snapped her fingers as she saw his eyes wander. "Hey! I haven't stared at your arm yet, just ignore the sugar glider. I'm gonna run over a load of Taken for science, you better appreciate this!"

" _You_ don't have your Light!" he snapped, trying to keep his eyes wandering to the creature. "I will wait for my usually assistant!"

" _Oh_ , so just because my ghost can't revive me anymore, means I can't run over Taken?" She put her hands on her hips, voice singing with challenge. She suddenly reached up, and carefully picked the animal off her shoulder. "Hold my glider."

He barely had a moment to protest before she was shoving the creature into his hand, and when he opened his mouth to do so, he, for once, couldn't find the words to describe how he felt about this. By the time he worked up what he really wanted to yell, she was gone with all the swiftness her class was known for. The sugar glider squirmed out of his grip, body warm against the skin of his only real hand, sticking his head up the Warlock's sleeve.

"No you don't!" he protested. He tried to grab it with his other hand, but, as usual, the awful Vex arm was too slow to respond to the commands of a mere Human nervous system, and the furry creature's tail slipped between his fingers as it crawled into his robes, tiny claws pricking at his skin.

With a noise of profound frustration, Asher tried to roll his sleeve up and grab the glider, but again his bad arm failed him in the endeavor.

"GET OUT! You don't belong up there! I cannot work with a marsupial crawling around on me! Just because some zounderkite Hunter is engaging in a foolish endevour, that does not give the excuse for-ow!" he was cut of as one of the the gliders claws found a particularly sensitive nerve in his arm. Instinctively, he brought his other hand down on the area... unfortunately, a little too roughly. He yelped with pain, jumping as tiny teeth nipped his skin.

"Ouch! Get out of there! Ow! Out! Now! OW!" The more he struggled, pulling at his collar, his sleeve, even trying to take his robes off completely, the more bites he got. So, he did the only logical thing; he gave up. He held his breath as he stood stock still, leaning over his desk. He released it when he realized it had worked; the biting had stopped. He could feeling the glider clinging somewhere near his shoulder blade, it's fur sliding against his skin as it explored. He dared to move his good arm towards his terminal.

No reaction as the fabric shifted and tightened over it. He relaxed a little more, and rested his hand on the terminal keyboard lightly. Still no biting, his movement seemed not to startle it. It was looking like he would have to wait for it to come out on it's own... or worse, ask the Huntress for help getting it out. _That_ would be more embarrassment he was capable of taking right now.

Jaw clenched at the injustice, he decided to simply continue monitoring the Huntresses Ghosts feeds for the data they were gathering. Interestingly, the Taken reaction to high-force blunt trauma was rather different than when they were eliminated with ballistic engagement. He wondered how the readings would differ if they were to instead create a gravitational tunnel to bring down a small meteorite on top of the Taken.

He continued to examine the readings, taking notes, and it took him nearly ten minutes to realize that the sugar glider had curled up between his neck and the collar of his robes, asleep. He jumped when he finally noticed, and couldn't believe he'd forgotten about the creature. He _never_ forgot anything! Very carefully, he lifted his hand, but hesitated. What if he woke it up, and it just scurried back down his robes?

Tentatively, he stroked it's neck experimentally. It's left ear twitched, brushing his finger, but it didn't wake. His bites still stung, and he glared at the sugar glider.

"You're more trouble than you're worth! What kind of foolish idiot takes a a sugar glider planet hopping!?" he fumed, though by now his rage was only half-hearted. Feeling daring, he ran the back of his finger along the glider's spine, and it still didn't wake. _Alright, fine! it's not as bad when it's sleeping._

Rather than risk waking it any further than he already was, he decided to leave it be. As he continued his work, he at some point, despite the actions of the wretched creature, found he didn't mind it's presence at his neck. Though he couldn't quite lean so far for it would fall off if he did, it was a minor inconvenience. During a lull in transmissions, he pushed his sleeve up and tended the bites. grumbling about the glider as he did so... even if he did tolerate it, as he twisted he head around to get a better look at a nip on the back of his arm, the tiny creatures fur tickling his chin as he did so.

All too soon(for some reason), there came the unmistakable sound of a sparrow incoming from the north. He pulled his sleeve back down, and gave the Huntress the most formidable glare he could muster as she came speeding towards him. He'd had _enough_ of Guardians having 'near-misses' with their sparrows upon approaching him. She, however, while driving directly at him, did not swerve to the side at the last moment; she hit the brakes rather violently, drifting to a halt.

"THERE, ha, I _did it_." she boasted, swinging off her sparrow. He made to backpedal as she strode far too closely up to him, and he gave a bewildered start as she reached for his neck. Suddenly, her finger were brushing against his throat, and the sugar glider was gathered in her hands to be bundled away into her hood once more. It still didn't wake, and it seemed his fears had been misplaced. The Huntress cooed at her pet as she retrieved it, and he felt he might be nauseous. "Who's a good sugar glider? Who's a good Barry being nice to the Warlock? You are, you are!"

He opened his mouth to tell her of all the indecent biting, but his voice died on his lips for some reason. Instead, he sighed, annoyed, and waved her away as he did everyone else. _Must really invent a device to deter foolish Hunters and their strange exotic pets..._

As he continued to sort out the data the Huntress had gathered, Asher rubbed his neck where the glider had curled up. In his subconscious, he reflected on how cold the spot now felt.

* * *

 _Because over the weekend, I decided that sugar gliders are my new favorite animal. ^^_

 _They're so cute! I almost chose Sloane for this... but I eventually decided it would have been funnier if it was Asher._

 _Fare Thee Well!_


End file.
